Do you know that feeling where you’re trying to swallow but you can’t? Your eyes fill with tears but you don’t know why. Your hands are shaking. Your Dom towers above you. Your knees rub against the hard floor. You’re sitting back on your heels. He touches your face and you lean into his touch. A lot of men think owning you begins by forcing their cock down your throat. I mean, after all, you are on your knees. You’re naked. You have a mouth. I’ve seen many dominant men say things like “being a Dom is about strength and power. It’s about control.” That has not been my experience.
I’m not Dominant because I need power. I’m dominant because I need vulnerability. Owning you makes me feel connected to something I can’t articulate. It reaches into me and turns up feelings and emotions that have long been dormant. I hate this but at the same time, I crave it. If I go too long without it those feelings begin to atrophy. I walk through life in a cloud. I’m less able to cope.
In the instant my hand cracks against your flesh I awaken. Colors are clearer. Sounds are crisper. The current that exists between us pulls me to you at the same time it pulls you to me. And we find ourselves in a world that is unrecognizable to anyone who has never felt this. It’s a world without doubt or despair. It’s a world without thought. All our movements are determined by instincts formed generations ago. Maybe that explains why my hand always needs to be on your throat. You need to offer me something I can crush. I hold your life in my palm and choose what I want to do with it. Yes, that gives me so much power and I love that feeling but if that’s all it was then it wouldn’t be enough. When I’m holding your throat you’re looking into my eyes. Angry eyes, sad eyes, happy eyes, lustful eyes: it doesn’t matter. They’re never one thing. I hold you there in my palm and they’re all the things. If you can’t feel that then I’m not doing it right.
We keep coming back here, together. We find ourselves repeating this ritual. You give yourself to me. I take what you give. I try to take more. You try to give more. It’s like we’re desperate to find a grander truth that doesn’t exist. But it doesn’t need to because trying to find it with you feels so right. It feels so good. I can stop being the things that don’t make sense and I can be the one thing that doesn’t need to make sense. I can be your Dom.