They will say I changed you- that I led you down the wrong path. To them, it will seem like I’ve walled you off from the world. How frustrated they will be. It was so easy for them to have their clutches in you. With impunity, they tried to control you. They manipulated you. Their passive aggression and back-handed compliments picked away at your sense of self. The irony that they think it is me who corrupted you when it was their corruption that pushed you in my direction.
I found you alone and wondering. I’m not so arrogant to think that I saved you. I don’t have answers you couldn’t have come up with yourself. But I am strong in mind and body. And now, if they want to inject the same bullshit into your life they have to get through me. If they want to gaslight and push their passive aggression they have to deal with my active aggression. I will never fight your battles unless you ask but now you know I am ready to fight. Oh, how I love a good fight. For you, I live to strap on this armor and plant my feet in the dirt. I live to hold the line in any weather.
This dark path you chose yourself. But when I showed it to you, what choice did you have? The first time I hurt you it was the only pain that you’ve ever experienced that dulled all the other pain. My words were so much harsher than theirs, and yet it seemed so beautiful to you. Do you know why that is? Because even when I’m degrading you it comes from a place of passion not hate. I get so much joy from ripping you apart so I can prove that I will be there to hold you together.
I give you permission to be the version of yourself you were meant to become. You have my permission to love being on your knees; to love the bruises that cover your body. To those who have spent their whole life hurting you, it will seem like I’m a sadistic fuck who won’t allow you to make eye contact with him. But you and I know the truth. The intensity you feel when you look into my eyes is overwhelming. It is only meant for those moments I’m trying to decide if I’m going to choke you or kiss you. It’s only meant for those moments where you’ve broken down and begun to sob. Look into my eyes and feel that you’ve found where you belong.
Let them try to break this bond between us. How can they break something they don’t understand? There’s no space between us anymore. There are no secrets. You have no desires I haven’t explored. There is nothing you want I wouldn’t give. You’d walk on fire just to please me. You’d rip open your chest just to show me your beating heart. This connection transcends the notion of connection. It’s bigger than both of us. It’s why we can feel it when one of us walks into the room. You’re caught in my gravity, destined to spend your eternity in orbit around me. So let them try to pull you away. Good luck. They may never stop having the power to hurt you in all the wrong ways. But I’m the only one who has the power to hurt you in the right ways. And that’s everything. If you knew nothing else, that one truth would be enough to make you crawl behind me wherever I go.